Worth the Work
Friends can be good matchmakers but it's a couple's work that takes things from getting acquainted to a 50th wedding anniversary.
“We met in a bowling alley,” said Shirley Winger of Harmony of how she met her future husband.
She was bowling with her team when George Winger came to the bowling alley to see some friends. A mutual friend introduced them.
“Actually, it was her boyfriend,” said George.
“I was smitten immediately,” he said. “She had on red slacks and had a white top with red polka dots — just like Valentine's Day.”
There was an opening on Shirley's team so he bowled with them that night.
“He filled in for 50 years after that,” said Shirley.
“We met in September, and we had a wedding date set for July,” Shirley said.
But the date was postponed because they broke up a couple of times.
“We had a rocky courtship,” George said.
Shirley said, “Everybody had doubts.”
That included the bank that loaned money for their wedding on Nov. 7, 1964, in Niagara Falls, N.Y.
“Two weeks they were giving us,” George said of their friends saying how long their marriage would last.
The Wingers made it last.
Shirley said, “George is a type A, and I am definitely a type B. We were perfectly matched.”
George had a career in sales and he traveled 50 percent of the time until retirement a few years ago.
“That helped us to not take each other for granted,” Shirley said. “We looked forward to being together.”
As retirees, Shirley said they are learning to live together full-time.
“Marriage is 50-50, give and take,” she said.
“We were introduced by mutual friends,” said Mary Jane McDowell of Butler Township.Jack McDowell was from Butler and Mary was from West Sunbury. They knew they wanted to get married after a year and a half of dating.But she was in nursing school and the school did not allow married students.“We dated the three years I was in training, and we were married six months after I graduated,” she said. That was on Feb. 15, 1964.Patience and family support helped them get through difficult times over the years.“People think you're not going to have rough patches. But everybody has rough patches,” Mary said. “I think so many times we try to change each other, and I don't think that works that often.”Jack said a good sense of humor has helped their marriage.“I know we are very fortunate to have good health. We are very happy,” Mary said.
For Alice and Jim O'Brien of Butler Township, it all started when Jim, a sailor, hung his hat on a hook above her head.“He had to lean over me. That's how I noticed him,” Alice said. “The rest of the evening we just looked at each other.”Jim was a stranger across a crowded room that September evening. Alice was sitting with a classmate and her Navy boyfriend in a place popular for its jukebox and food.The two sailors were shipmates on the U.S.S. Basilone DD 824 and had been in Philadelphia for about four months.Soon Jim asked the shipmate to match him up with Alice.“I was from Indiana, Pa., and he was from Chaska, Minn.,” Alice said. “We knew each other about five weeks when we got engaged.”After just 11 dates, the couple had a small wedding on Feb. 28, 1964. Then Jim's ship left the docks again, and for the first three years of their marriage he was home only 10 months. He was at sea, and she was a nurse in Rhode Island.Jim left the service in 1967 but that time influenced their marriage. Alice said they aren't joined at the hip.“We're happy having some of our own unique interests,” she said. “Maybe because of the way we started out.”“We had to learn to have our own life and our life together,” Alice said.
“We've always based our marriage on our faith,” Alice said.“Your most important goals and morality and all the important things need to be united.”Jim said a strong marriage includes compromise and appreciating each other.Alice said, “We've had our ups and downs along the way but we worked through them.”“Commitment is No. 1,” Jim said. “They need to think of each other.”He believes couples must come to a mutual understanding when there is a problem.“Communication is one of the best things,” he said. “She does stuff I don't like, and I do stuff she doesn't like, and we talk about it or forget about it.”
