Kathy Nee will always grieve the loss of her only child — the most devastating event in her life.

“When she passed ... I didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't even get out of bed or anything,” said the Butler woman. “I went to grief counseling twice a month, support group once a week, family bereavement every month, I took a nine-week class on grief trying to figure out this new world and I hated it.”

Nee's daughter, Chante' Elise Nee, 30, died Jan. 28, 2019, of fentanyl poisoning, a drug-induced homicide. Nee's suspected dealer is in custody and awaiting trial.

One counselor gave Nee what she calls the best advice: Finding meaning is crucial to your healing.

In the wake of the one-year anniversary of her daughter's death, Nee started Chante's Heart, a charitable organization that assembled 100 blessing bags filled with goods and hygiene products for homeless women in honor of her daughter's enthusiasm, love of life, compassion and acceptance of others.

Of those 100 bags, Nee donated 45 between the Light of Life Community Outreach and the Center for Community Resources' North Street location on Thursday.

“I'm not moving on without her,” Nee said. “I'm bringing her passion for helping people, I'm bringing it forward with me, that's how I look at it.”

Since May, Nee spent a majority of her time working on projects in Chante's memory.

At a garage sale, Nee found in a $5 box of wares she purchased a silver heart-shaped dish underneath a crock pot that read: “mom, my best friend, my inspiration,” which inspired her to dive into her project.

Along with her close friends and several organizations — such as UPMC For YOU, the Cabot Senior Center and Sarver Giant Eagle — Nee collected personal hygiene necessities and comfort items geared toward women.

Funds came from a garage sale, during which more than a dozen families donated articles to sell. Money also came from community donations.

Every year, Chante' bought her mother a gift from Bath and Body Works, and those kinds of products were included in the bags. “They had Sweet Pea on clearance and that was her nickname growing up,” Nee said.

Nee used Chante's actual handwriting from one of the letters she had written to Nee when she was a camp counselor to convert into a file for the Chante's Heart logo. Nee used her Cricut Maker Machine to heat press it onto the bags.

Instead of writing the word “love,” Nee drew Chante's signature heart and added it to the bag.

“I felt her with me, so it was very therapeutic,” she said.

Rosemary Altemus of Sarver, Nee's friend, helped to gather toiletries and pack the bags.

Altemus supported Nee after her daughter's death. When Nee told her about the bags she wanted to make, Altemus offered her help.

Instead of feeling sorry for herself, Nee said she channeled her feelings into creativity and serving her community.

“I believe that God brought this together. Many people's lives will be blessed because of this,” Altemus said. “I think it's helped her to deal with her daughter's passing. It gives her hope, so others won't have to suffer or find the answers they need, so they won't have to pass away if things happen in their lives.”

The 20 bags donated to the Center for Community Resources will benefit the nine people in its Interim Housing program, said Katie Doerr, program manager for the Crisis and Drug and Alcohol center on North Street.

“They come to us where they're at in life and that can be with what they have on their back,” Doerr said. “We try to make sure they have a fresh set of clothing and hygiene products.”

Donations are valued because they run on limited supplies and funding, she said.

“I appreciate that someone took the time and the energy to create those for the people that we serve,” she said of Nee. “I understand why she wants to do things and honor that memory; I appreciate that especially as a mom.”

Curt and Pam Weichey, owners of Light of Life Community Outreach, said they believe the bags provide a great community service.

“I think it's wonderful,” said Pam Weichey. “Chante's smile and love for others is what Jesus says to do unto others.”

The couple recalled briefly meeting Chante'.

“You could see the love in her and she wanted to help others,” she said. “You could see Chante's heart.”

The bags will benefit women who are struggling, Curt Weichey said.

“Everybody needs stuff,” he said. “This is something folks can remember her by.”

On Saturday, Nee donated bags to a soup kitchen in East Liberty where she and her daughter volunteered.

At that kitchen, Chante', who was a teenager at the time, invited a homeless woman to their house for Thanksgiving — a memory that inspired Nee's choice to help others.

“I don't understand why we're here if we're not here to make a difference,” Nee said, recalling her daughter's words.

Another source of inspiration was Nee's father, who was close to Chante'. Her father lost his wife in 2013. He calls Nee everyday to check on her.

“It was always the four of us doing things together,” she said. “It's just him and I now.”

Her next step is to obtain a 501(c)(3) status.

Nee said the night before she dropped off the bags, she panicked about the piece of her daughter she was giving away. “Then, I thought there's going to be others who are going to help me find what our next project is going to be,” she said. “I want to keep going.”

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