"I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry" is a one-joke movie — and that joke might have seemed edgy back in 1977, when Billy Crystal was playing a gay man on "Soap."

Adam Sandler and likable lug Kevin James play Brooklyn firefighters who pretend they're a couple to receive domestic partner benefits. This sets up a litany of obvious gags and adolescent one-liners, followed by a swift, politically correct embrace of gay culture.

Director Dennis Dugan ("Happy Gilmore," "Big Daddy," say no more) wants to have it both ways but never gets either right. It might seem offensive if it weren't so lame.

Sandler's Chuck Levine and James' Larry Valentine try to convince the world they're gay by picking up Wham! and Barry Manilow CDs and professing that they're "riding the dude train." They do this because Larry, a widower, is concerned that his kids won't receive life insurance if he dies in a fire.

Suddenly, their fellow firefighters stop playing pick-up basketball with them and feel nervous about showering around them. And while a fraud inspector (Steve Buscemi in a weasly, unfunny role) starts snooping around suspiciously, their captain at the fire station (Dan Aykroyd) doesn't want to know the truth.

So Chuck and Larry enlist the help of attorney Alex McDonough (Jessica Biel) to help them defend their case. Trouble is, Alex is astonishingly hot and Chuck, before turning into a faux-mo, was a ravenous ladies' man. And so he agrees to be her buddy on shopping sprees and girlie wine nights, just to be close to her. Of course, because she trusts him so much, she lets him feel her breasts to prove that they're real — we all do that with our gay pals! And of course she will eventually find out he's straight and feel duped.

In the end, Sandler stands up in a courtroom to proclaim that homophobia is bad. The only useful lesson comes during the scene in which Biel strips down to a bra and panties and shows off her famously toned backside. The sight of her in all her muscular glory is enough to make you immediately flee the theater and head to the gym for some squats and lunges.

The added benefit of that is that you wouldn't have to watch the rest of the movie.