How's this for ironic?

Vancouver, the site of the 2010 Winter Olympics, has a snow shortage.

The white stuff has been flown and trucked in over the past several days to ensure there will be enough of it when events begin on Saturday.

Meanwhile, much of the East Coast and Midwest, including Butler County, is buried under the stuff.

There's so much of it, we don't know what to do with it all.

A six-foot high cache of snow is piled up in front of my side door. Please, Vancouver, help yourself to it.

There's enough snow in my backyard to build at least 20 snowman bobsled teams.

Or a snowman hockey team (which could probably beat the United States).

Or at least 30 flamboyant snowman and snowwoman figure skaters.

Then again, why not just bring the Winter Olympics to Butler County?

There's plenty of snow here for all the events, and maybe even a few extra:

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The Shovelathlon: First, arduously dig out a spot in the snow to park a car on a Butler City street, then try to protect it by assembling a mountain of lawn furniture or garbage cans so no inconsiderate driver can poach it.Be careful, though. Someone may steal your porch swing — and your spot.And, no, if they do swipe the carefully crafted slice of parking heaven, you may not shoot them with a rifle as part of a typical biathlon event.•

Downstreet skiing: The steep slopes of North Main Street and New Castle Street offer the best venue for the Bode Millers and Lindsey Vonns out there.Just watch out for the potholes.•

Giant Slalom. Skiers can weave through a course of parking meters.Don't miss one or it will cost you $5 — $15 if you miss it again.•

Snowboarding. Father Marinaro Skatepark would be an ideal venue.•

Cross Country Skiing. Look no further than Moraine State Park.Plenty of snow-covered trails.•

Speed Skating. Competitors skate across Lake Moraine from the north shore to the south shore with great haste before the thin ice cracks beneath them.The fear of plunging through the ice makes for some record-breaking times, my friends."Ohno, I hear the ice crackling. Faster! Faster!"•

Bobsled. Negotiate the streets of Cranberry Township during rush hour before having one of those ugly "Wide World of Sports" disasters.The thrill of victory ... and the agony of trying to turn left into the Wal-Mart plaza.•

The Luge. Grab a cafeteria tray — or a cushion from any stolen piece of lawn furniture provided by the Shovelathlon — and find any of the plethora of snow-covered hills in Butler County to test your nerve as you careen down them at breakneck speeds.Just try not to break your coccyx.Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.