It’s no secret in my family who is the worst present wrapper: me.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been bad at wrapping any sort of gift, whether it be for a birthday or for Christmas. For a while, I didn’t even need to put a “from” tag on my gifts because the wrap job was so bad all my relatives knew it was from me.

The 47 pieces of tape and a corner with no wrapping paper revealing it came from Jeff.

This year was no different.

I bought my parents and my sister’s family numerous gifts, items like iTunes gift cards — hey, it’s a credit card, how much paper and tape can it take — to the always difficult to wrap triple extra large fleece jacket for my mom.

I’m not only bad at wrapping, but I’m equally bad at shopping. This year, as in past decades, I did not do any shopping until 2:30 p.m. on Christmas Eve.

This late shopping only makes my task of wrapping more difficult. Because I don’t hit the stores until they’re almost closed, I’m in a big rush just to find presents and stores that are still open. Then, when I get home, I’m in an equally frantic race to wrap them to be able to at my parent’s house with gifts that aren’t in a store-issued bag.

I realized this year that my late shopping habit came coupled with another dilemma.

Each year I vow to be a better wrapper, and this year I bought a few rolls of frilly, silver-colored wrapping paper. Loaded down with presents and the fancy paper, I started home for the wrap job.

It was only after one present had been wrapped that I was faced with the nightmare scenario I had never encountered before: I had run out of tape!

For a guy who needs one roll of Scotch tape to wrap a book, that means trouble.

I was forced to go back and find a store that had tape and was open. I battled the Cranberry masses once again at 6 p.m. on Christmas Eve and landed at a box store.

Of course, I figured, a megastore must have lots of tape. Nope. It did not.

Now I was in trouble. I decided to begin to scour the store for any sort of sticky material I could find that could be multipurposed into use for wrapping presents.

First, I hit the automotive section, hoping to find some sort of air hose sealant tape. To my surprise, nothing was on hand. Not wanting to use oil filter sealant goop, I moved on.

Then it was off to the home improvements and plumbing section, but the only thing I could locate was blue painter’s tape in 2-inch wide rolls, which definitely wasn’t going to go over well with the fancy, silver colored paper I’d bought to appear somewhat wrap-savvy.

That was when I stumbled upon the packing section of the store: a small section of an obscure aisle near the bulk cat litter where anything you could want for packing could be found.

Jackpot!

While others were stocking up on Scotch tape, nobody had touched the boxing tape. I immediately found a stockpile of tape supplies.

The only problem was it was super heavy duty mailing tape in 3 inch-wide rolls and most of it silver duct tape. I managed to locate some transparent tape, which would maintain the visual impact of my fancy gift paper.

However, as my family would find out on Christmas Day, it’s tough to rip through.

I got a couple of rolls and scurried home before I headed back home to Ohio on Christmas morning with presents in tow.

First up were my two nieces, who got humble iTunes cards. I used three sheets of newspaper, wrapped with a foot of packing tape each. It took them 10 minutes and a Swiss Army knife to get to the goods.

Then came my mom. As she cradled the soft, ball shaped present in her hand and tried to rip into it, it became increasingly obvious this was akin to breaking into Fort Knox. Because my worst wrapping efforts often involved bulky clothes, I used a lot of packing tape on this one.

The encased fleece jacket would have been difficult to retrieve for a hungry bear, let alone my mother who hasn’t seen a weight room in her life.

Eventually she managed to make a small opening and after 10 minutes, the fleece emerged.

My mom had a laugh and told everyone that nothing’s changed in 30 years.

“Jeff still can’t wrap presents.”