Wedding Advice
The Caribbean, Mexico and U.S. beach resorts are possibilities for destination weddings. But for couples living hundreds of miles from Butler, Western Pennsylvania is the best place for their nuptials.
Erin (Lewis) and Wesley Shaw of Rochester Hills, Mich., were married at the church she attended growing up, First United Methodist Church in Butler. She was from Butler and he was from Saxonburg.
In the months before the wedding, the couple and their chocolate Labrador retriever made the five-hour drive from Michigan to Butler for bridal showers, bachelor parties, bachelorette parties, a marriage seminar and meetings with their minister.
“It was difficult for sure,” the bride said, adding, she and her husband were willing to make that sacrifice to save others having to drive and find hotel rooms.
Shaw said she never considered getting married anywhere but where they grew up. The hardest thing was coordinating everything.
“Make sure that you have a support system that really is willing to help and willing to do whatever needs to be done,” she said. “Figure out a way to be extremely organized and have someone in the area who is.”“If it hadn't been for my mom and my mother-in-law being on the same page, I would have been a disaster,” Shaw said. “My mom did more than I even know to keep us organized.”Shaw said an advantage of being out of town during wedding planning was less drama.Shaw said, “We had a lot of expectations and we made a list of what was important and who was important, and we did a lot of going out of our way.”There were surprises. For example, Shaw's last fitting for the locally purchased wedding dress was two months before the wedding. When she picked the dress up, it was pressed and sealed so she couldn't try it on.“That was absolutely the worst part,” Shaw said.Another surprise was discovering her mother had to bake the wedding cake. Although Shaw expected to do some of the cake decorating, things took a turn when silk flowers were left behind in Michigan and there wasn't time to make the fondant flowers she planned.Also, the bridesmaids' shoes were not all the same color. Someone ended up with shoes that were a size too small. One of the groomsmen didn't have a vest with his suit.In hindsight, she thinks it might have been better that she didn't know these things before she arrived in town. “It could have caused a mini-meltdown in Michigan,” she said.
“The most important thing is that you're getting married where you want to get married. There's a lot of the details that kind of fall apart and fall away that you don't remember because it happens so quickly,” Shaw said.Trisha (Brubaker) and Luke Master were married at Christ Community United Methodist Church in Butler, and their reception was outdoors at his parents' home.While planning the wedding, they were in Reading where they've lived for three years. She was from Lebanon and he was from Butler, but they wanted to invite many guests from this area.Trisha Master said the hardest part was commuting back and forth about once a month and doing everything on weekends. This included meeting with their minister for counseling and multiple trips to choose and fit clothes for the attendants.Her mother-in-law, Joyce Master, was a big help and made planning easier.“She did most of the hard work,” Master said. “She gave me a big binder of stuff and told me to pick what I wanted.”Master came to Butler the week before the wedding to face a week of rain. She worried the rain might spoil the reception, but it was too late to change the location. Fortunately, the weather cleared in time.“Be laid back,” Master said. “Not everything goes as planned.”Cara (Gordon) and Chris Cotter planned their wedding from New York City. She is from Butler and their wedding and reception were in Pittsburgh. Chris Cotter is a native of Landenberg.
“We relied on family members to do some of the research for us. That was a help,” said Cara Cotter.“It definitely wasn't easy,” she said. “We had to do a lot of things over skype, e-mail and phone.”When choosing music, they went to a YouTube page to listen to a violinist, a music professor at Slippery Rock University, who they were considering. Then they finalized the details during a conference call with the violinist.About six weeks before the wedding, they squeezed everything they could into a one-week visit. They checked the wedding site, enjoyed a bridal shower, and got the marriage license.They also met the minister who had agreed to work with them through e-mails, telephone and one face-to-face session.To make the most of the trip, they planned carefully. They chose the reception menu ahead of time so they could taste the food that week.“I think a lot of different vendors — if you're not in the area — will make accommodations for you,” Cotter said.She sent the florist images of flowers and arrangements that she liked. The florist sent back photographs of samples so she could check the color schemes and the height.“The best thing is to try to tap into people you know that know the local people who could help you,” Chris Cotter said.His wife said that by having the wedding closer to Butler they received better value for their money than they would have in New York, and it was easier for guests.“We wouldn't have done it any other way,” she said.“It was nice to have it in the area,” Chris Cotter said. “It felt a little bit more meaningful because Cara grew up there.”Erin (Hinerman) and Kevin Ference were in Centreville, Va., when they planned their wedding. Their families are from Cranberry Township and the festivities were in Mars. “It was where my heart was,” Erin Ference said. “It was going to mean so much more getting married where I grew up.”Ference said she needs to be “hands on,” so her biggest challenge was delegating.“You just have to make sure you have a very strong support system with your bridesmaids, wedding party and family since you are going to have to depend on them the most,” Ference said.Ference has lived in Virginia for four years but said it still doesn't feel like home.The couple spent a lot of weekends in the car and planned their monthly visits carefully.“Even with all the stress and all of the traveling, I wouldn't have done anything differently,” Ference said. “It was the best, most perfect day and we wouldn't have changed anything.”
