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Grieving family thankful for kindness

Friends and neighbors leave mementos at a makeshift memorial for Tristan Oesterling, 2, who died New Year's Eve after his family's Knox Avenue home caught on fire.
Dec. 31 fire claimed 2-year-old boy

A grieving family — victims of a fire in which they lost their 2-year-old son and saw their 1-year-old boy hospitalized for burns — remains overwhelmed by the generosity of Butler County residents who have donated money, clothes, furniture, household items, food and gift cards to help rebuild their lives.

The fire at noon New Year's Eve claimed the life of Tristan Oesterling, 2, who was unable to escape the fast-moving blaze at the family's Knox Avenue home despite the desperate efforts of his father, Donovan Oesterling.

Oesterling had already removed his children Jazmine, 4 and Jax, 1, from the burning home, but black smoke and heat prevented him from reentering the home to retrieve Tristan.

The children's mother, Deidra Anthony, was at work at the time of the fire.

Luke Nelson, deputy fire marshal from State Police Troop D in New Castle, said the fire remains under investigation.

He said it did not appear to be smoking-related, but seemed to originate in the first-floor living room area.

“There is no evidence that it was anything other than an accidental cause,” Nelson said.

He said he did not see smoke alarms in the home while investigating.

“It's just a very tragic incident,” Nelson said.

Jeremy Oesterling, Donovan's father and the owner of the home, said Monday that the family is now staying at a hotel near UPMC Mercy Hospital in Pittsburgh, where Jax is being treated for second-degree burns over 17% of his body.

The elder Oesterling said the youngster had surgery Monday that doctors hoped would preclude the need for skin grafts on the child's back and side, but it was not successful.

“So they are going to have to take skin off both of his thighs,” Oesterling said.

He said the toddler is eating and drinking and in good spirits as he receives treatment at the burn center.

The home his son and family rented, which was a total loss, was insured, Oesterling said.

Neighbors and others have created an impromptu memorial for Tristan at the house, consisting of teddy bears and other trinkets.

Grace Schantz, who has done babysitting for the Oesterling children, had a hard time holding back tears Monday. “I know Donovan personally, and I know he did everything he could,” she said. “Tristan was his right-hand man.”

She treasures a recent photo she took of Tristan, who she said resembled his father, in which she captured the toddler making his “mad face.”

“I am heartbroken,” Schantz said. “I love them all, but Tristan was everyone's little man.”

Cindy Parker, founder of Walk in Faith Outreach, which helps victims of homelessness and natural disasters in Butler, has been on her cell phone gathering donated furniture, housewares, clothing linens, gift cards and other items for the family since starting the donation project immediately after the fire.

“They are overwhelmed by the outpouring of generosity from people who they don't even know,” Parker said. “I do this all the time and I'm wowed.”

She said in addition to the 851 people who donated more than $44,000 to a gofundme.com fundraiser for the family as of Monday afternoon, loads of items have been arriving at the Lyndora storage facility where she is keeping the donations until the family gets a new place to live.

The family lost everything in the fire.

Generous county residents have also handed over about $500 in gift cards, mostly for Walmart, Giant Eagle and Sam's Club.

“This community never lets me down,” Parker said. “We've had an amazing response.”

She said Miller's Meats is donating a weekly food box to the family and Artisan Catering brought daily hot meals in the days after the fire.

The emergency room nurses at Butler Memorial Hospital collected items for the family as well, Parker said.

Spencer Geibel Funeral Home and Cremation Services donated funeral services, and the Rev. David Maitland of First Baptist Church in Butler is donating his services Sunday.

“Fires are always a tragedy, but when you lose a child, it affects the whole community,” Parker said.

She said she had a conversation with a county probation officer who was checking on a neighbor of the Oesterlings when the fire broke out and quickly engulfed the small home.

Parker said the probation officer said he has been unable to sleep after hearing Donovan Oesterling's anguished cries that his son was trapped upstairs in the burning building.

“He brought a trunk load of clothes, toys and gift cards,” she said of that officer. “We live in a good community that cares about each other.”

Jeremy Oesterling said the family is completely overwhelmed with the generous donations, support and prayers after the tragedy.

“We are really surprised,” he said. “It really touched me and my family's heart.

“I really did not expect it.”

Oesterling said his family is also appreciative of all the firefighters, police officers and emergency medical personnel who responded to the scene of the fire Dec. 31.

The state police fire marshal has not returned calls from the Butler Eagle regarding the investigation into the blaze or its cause.

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