Family, friends remember Mary Pataky, former Meals on Wheels director
When inclement weather closed down operations at Butler’s Meals on Wheels, Mary Pataky would deliver the meals to elderly and shut-in residents herself.
The former Meals on Wheels director, who worked for the organization for 30 years and retired in October, is remembered by her family and coworkers for her devotion to helping others. Pataky died of cancer Wednesday, April 10. She was 62.
“First and foremost, she liked to take care of others,” said Pataky’s daughter, Melanie Tucek. “Whether it was myself, my brother, her two stepdaughters … (or her) seven grandchildren she doted on and she adored. Also just in her professional career, you know, with Meals on Wheels.”
“She was just so caring and giving and generous and very selfless,” Tucek said.
Tyler Boulanger, Pataky’s son, said toward the end of her life, his mother reiterated her “philosophy of leading with love to everybody,” a commitment he said was apparent in her personal life as well as in her work.
“Meals on Wheels was not just a job for (Pataky),” said former Meals on Wheels assistant director and friend Natalie Wall. “She loved people and wanted to take care of them and make sure that they were OK. She will be sorely missed by many.”
Boulanger said his mother, a graduate of Butler Area Senior High School, grew up in Herman as “the baby” of seven children in a close-knit family. When Pataky’s father died when she was young, Boulanger said Pataky’s mother became “the matriarch of the family.”
Boulanger, who is eight years younger than Turcek, described Pataky as a “hand-on mom“ who raised her own children to be equally close.
Tucek said she was seven when her mother got involved in the organization. In the summertime, when school was not in session, Pataky would often bring her children with her to work. Tucek said she and her brother would help out.
“My brother and I grew up there and around everyone there,” Tucek said. “They've always been like family to her and to us.”
“Like anyone, she's had hard times in her life,” Tucek said about her mother. “But she always put others first, and I think part of that mindset came from Meals on Wheels. She was always willing to jump in and do whatever she could to help.”
Pataky was diagnosed with cancer about two-and-a-half years ago.
Boulanger said he his mother open up more about being vulnerable toward the end of her life.
“She allowed the people that cared about her to be there for her when she was going through tough times, and I think there's a strength in that, too,” Boulanger said.
“When she got to the point where she was the one that needed help, that was so hard for her,” Tucek said. “I told her many times, ‘You took care of other people — let us take care of you now.’”
Growing up, Tucek said her mother was “playful, fun and silly.”
“She was the best,” Tucek said. “I have two kids of my own and I just try to be like she was.”
Boulanger said Pataky never missed a family happening, whether it was a soccer practice, concert or Boy Scout event.
“She asked me one time what my memory was, if I had one memory of her from my childhood,” Turcek said. “I said, ‘You were just there. I always knew you were there.’”
Pataky embodied the same playful qualities with her grandchildren as a “hands-on” grandmother, Tucek said.
“We went on many adventures together,” Tucek said, recalling babysitting trips, and visits to the zoo and park. “We always called them our adventures together.”
Pataky’s “happy place” was the ocean at the Outer Banks, Tucek said. There, she would play in the sand with her grandchildren. The family would play card games together, look at old pictures and tell stories late into the night.
“Just sitting on the beach and feeling the sun and the wind, she had mentioned those things specifically to me,” Boulanger said. “And the peace and calmness and just being with the people that meant the most to her.”
Meals on Wheels posted a Facebook tribute to Pataky on Friday.
“Many people will remember Mary's glowing smile that would light up a room as well as her kind selfless attitude toward others,” the social media post read, in part.
“I think anyone who did know her will remember her smile,” Tucek said. “You know her smile lit up a room and she was such a light. She left a little bit of her light with everyone that knew her.”
