Melissa “Missy” Herrit still weeps at the sweet memories of her son, who died by suicide in March 2021 while attending college in Erie. She said he reached out for help with his mental health and received ridicule in return.

Herrit realized it was time to do something that could help others in her son’s situation and parents experiencing her unbearable grief, so she organized the Jacob Loyal Herrit Memorial Golf Outing.

The outing will be held Sept. 29 at Aubrey’s Dubbs Dred Golf Course in Butler Township. Proceeds from the outing will go to Our Hearts are Home, a faith-based nonprofit that provides support to parents who have lost a child; and Athletes Against Anxiety and Depression, which offers resources to those battling mental health issues.

Herrit said Jacob played multiple sports at Knoch middle and high schools, including duties as the varsity quarterback from his freshman to senior year. He also played varsity baseball for the Knights.

She said her son’s penchant for helping others steered him to an interest in the Army.

Jacob was honored to receive football, baseball and National Reserve Officers' Training Corps scholarships to attend Gannon University in Erie.

The upbeat young man’s luck betrayed him when he attended a two-week football camp that preceded his first day as a Gannon freshman.

Jacob tore the ACL and meniscus in his knee during that camp, which took him out of football for the entire season.

He decided to focus on ROTC and rehabilitating his knee for baseball, and was on track to do that when a significant infection appeared in the site of his knee surgery.

By the spring of 2020, Jacob was preparing for baseball season when the coronavirus pandemic struck, eliminating the chance to play that year.

Herrit said Jacob took an internship in the summer of 2020 with the police in Ocean City, Md., who were dealing with gangs that came to the seaside boardwalk town to cause trouble. Although he assisted police officers, Jacob was not permitted to carry a gun because of his intern status.

“I was so afraid something was going to happen to him,” Herrit said of the internship.

She said that summer had a big impact on her son.

“It made him realize that’s what he wanted to do when he got out of the military,” Herrit said.

Then, on March 10, 2121, Jacob called his mother to report he was feeling down and didn’t know what was wrong.

He made an appointment with a counselor and later spoke with another person about his depression, but she said he was disregarded.

Knowing her son had been feeling sad and not going to the gym as usual, she asked if she and Jacob’s little brother, Lucas, could come up to Erie to visit.

Herrit said a visit with his grandparents the day before she and Lucas got there had gone well, and Jacob had behaved in his normal way.

“Nobody knew that he struggled,” she said.

On the way to Erie, Herrit became concerned because Jacob was not answering calls and texts from her.

She said she did not sleep the night before the trip, and felt something was wrong as she drove north toward Erie for the visit.

Herrit and Lucas arrived at Jacob’s apartment 10 minutes after his roommates broke down the door and found him inside.

“The policeman said ‘are you Jacob’s mom?’” Herrit recalled through tears. “He said ‘He’s gone.’”

Through her shock and grief, Herrit’s first thought was of the little brother that Jacob cherished.

“That was his best friend,” Herrit said.

She said Jacob left short notes for a few people. Hers thanked her for being his rock.

“He said to Luke ‘I’ll always be with you,’” Herrit said.

“I’ve had it in my head since it happened that I wanted to do something,” Herrit said.

She initially thought of organizing a music festival because one of Jacob’s roommates had released a record.

“But I know a lot of golfers,” Herrit said.

In June, she began planning the golf outing to memorialize her son and support the two nonprofits.

Herrit said 60% of proceeds will go to Our Hearts are Home because it helps parents experiencing new grief from the loss of a child.

She learned of the group when she participated in an online GriefShare seminar and attended an Our Hearts are Home conference.

“I feel like they really have helped me so much,” Herrit said. “I’ve met so many parents through them who’ve lost their children through suicide.”

She said 40% of the proceeds will benefit Athletes Against Anxiety and Depression, because Jacob could have called the organization for help had he known about it.

Herrit said Jacob would be proud of her for organizing the golf outing, which has 36 teams signed up to play.

“People have just come out of the woodwork and have just been wonderful,” she said of planning the outing and lining up golfers.

She also hopes to raise awareness of the two beneficiary organizations so other families will not experience the heartbreak she has since Jacob died in March 2021.

“He was let down and he did not want this, and he did not get the help he should have gotten,” Herrit said.

Ben McMillen, a friend of Jacob’s who played baseball alongside him at Knoch High, said several of Jacob’s friends are golfing in the outing, as is Luke Herrit.

While McMillen is unable to attend the outing, he did participate in a suicide prevention walk Sept. 7 at Highmark Stadium on Pittsburgh’s North Shore.

He said Missy Herrit also participated in the Out of the Darkness Community Walk at Highmark Stadium in the team honoring her son’s memory.

McMillen said about 20 people were on the team, and lapped the stadium repeatedly with other teams to raise money for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

“I wanted to support the Herrits as much as I could,” he said of his participation in the Jacob Herrit team. “A lot of our friends in our group from high school still care about his brother, Luke, and Missy and his dad.”

McMillen summed up the thoughts of Missy Herrit as the golf outing approaches.

“It’s nice seeing everyone there who cared for Jacob,” he said.

Those who cannot participate in the golf outing are welcome to donate to either nonprofit in memory of Jacob Herrit.