QUESTION: My co-worker accidentally saw a confidential list of all the salaries in our department. He told me that our newest employee, who I have been training for a year, makes $15,000 more than I do. I've been with this company for 10 years and always thought that I was one of the most valuable employees. But now I have to wonder. How do I deal with what I feel is a betrayal?ANSWER: Instead of nursing hurt feelings, you need to ask for a raise. Employees frequently assume that people in similar jobs make similar salaries, but that's not always the case. Companies often pay people whatever it takes to get and keep them, which can easily result in pay inequities.If you're a modest and humble sort who feels uncomfortable asking for money, then you need to become more assertive. Everyone knows that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so it's time for you to start squeaking.When approaching your boss, don't launch into a tirade about unfair pay practices. Instead, present a strong factual case to back up your own request for an increase. Talk about the responsibilities you have, the results you produce, and the value added by your long experience.You should also be prepared to cite typical salaries for your line of work. Professional associations can be a good source of such data. And some Web sites provide pay comparisons for many jobs.If your manager still needs convincing, you might bring up the newcomer's pay. But keep in mind that you haven't actually seen the data yourself.

QUESTION: "Lisa", the new manager of our retail store, is making a lot of mistakes. She is very close to certain employees and socializes with them outside of work. She lets them look at confidential personnel files and even takes their advice about who to hire or fire.I have management experience and work at this store in a part-time management role. I'm trying to teach Lisa all that I can, but now she seems to resent my help. If you could print some guidelines for first-time managers about separating from employees, perhaps she will recognize her errors.ANSWER: The learning curve for management is pretty steep, and Lisa appears to have missed a few lessons. But that may not be altogether her fault. Her boss, who should be teaching Lisa about management, seems to be totally missing from this scenario.All new managers must learn that they are no longer one of the gang. You can't be both a boss and a buddy. If you're trying to be everyone's pal, you'll have a tough time assigning unpopular tasks or doing objective performance appraisals.For a manager, being respected is much more important than being liked. Management is not a popularity contest. To be effective, you will sometimes have to make difficult decisions that do not please everyone.Good managers are trustworthy. They never share confidential information about one employee with another. Personnel issues should be discussed only with upper management or human resources, never with other staff members.The above advice is for Lisa, but I also have a suggestion for you. If you come across as condescending or demeaning, Lisa is less likely to listen. So when offering suggestions, remember that she is a colleague, not your employee or your student.Marie G. McIntyre is a workplace coach and the author of "Secrets to Winning at Office Politics." Send in questions and get free coaching tips at www.yourofficecoach.com.