Scoop discovers whereabouts of Kitty Claus
Scoop here, once again answering the challenge of finding a subject to interview for the Christmas season.
I discovered the existence of Kitty Claus, daughter of Santa Claus. She was hesitant about doing the interview, but was impressed by how I flew to the Claus residence and pecked on her window until she let me in.
Kitty: Haven’t you strayed a bit far from home?
Scoop: All in a day’s work, Kitty.
Kitty: How do you know my name? I figured I’ve been forgotten about in the public eye.
Scoop: You sound bitter. I have to admit, I wasn’t sure you existed until I saw your light on up here while your father was outside checking on the sleigh.
Kitty: Dad’s getting ready to fly. He has to be sure the sleigh is ready, too. And, yes, I suppose I’m a bit bitter. I was the star of a Christmas burlesque musical back in 1892. The show didn’t go well, and I was out of the limelight just like that.
Scoop: That was so long ago ... If you don’t mind me saying so, you still look pretty good.
Kitty: We are all ageless at the North Pole. That means we don’t age.
Scoop: But Santa ...
Kitty: When you eat as many cookies, drink as much eggnog and log the miles worldwide he has for all these years, it’s bound to take its toll.
Scoop: Let’s talk about you, Kitty. Rumor has it you wanted to relocate to the states years ago. Why?
Kitty: Just to meet people. I was hoping to meet a guy, settle down a little bit. It gets lonely for a girl up here. It’s snowing and cold most of the time, you know?
Scoop: But you have so many people right here. I mean, Santa’s workshop is loaded ...
Kitty: With elves! It’s loaded with elves! They are nice guys, don’t get me wrong, but try dancing with one. I don’t dare wear heels and kneepads aren’t exactly in style.
Scoop: I notice your clothes look like Santa suits, but they are in different colors.
Kitty: Red isn’t always in season. My favorite is blue. If I wear green, I blend in with the elves, brown, with the reindeer ... I have to be me. And blue is me. And by wearing different colors, I can accessorize.
Scoop: Your dad doesn’t mind the different colors? He always struck me as a traditionalist.
Kitty: Nah, It’s nice to look different at the father-daughter dance. Besides, he likes looking at a different color when we’re out together on Christmas Eve.
Scoop: Wait a minute! You go with him?
Kitty: Of course. Dad’s a trooper, but he can’t possibly handle all of that baggage by himself. I help guide him to stops, assist with getting presents down the chimneys, that sort of thing. All of that traveling, you can’t leave that to a man. He never stops to ask for directions.
Scoop: Anything else?
Kitty: A few years ago, I started keeping a travel log on Facebook. I thought this might come up, so here’s a copy of last year’s log. By the time we hit Nicaragua, we had handed out 7 billion, 132 million, 914 thousand, 385 gifts altogether.
Scoop: That sleigh can only hold so much, right?
Kitty: I can pack it in. All it takes is a woman’s touch.
Scoop: Kitty, this has been an enlightening conversation.
Kitty: Speaking of which, how is an eagle able to talk?
Scoop: I’ll ask the questions, if that’s OK.
Kitty: No problem. Curiosity, I guess. I have to go shopping, anyway.
Scoop: You like shopping?
Kitty: Of course. Who do you think buys Santa his gift?