He sold out his teammates for favors. He’s had more needles in him than a pine tree. He’s a lousy tipper and I think he may have kicked my dog once.

He’s Alex Rodriguez. A terrible, terrible person.

OK. I get it. I don’t need a book penned by someone with an ax to grind to tell me that.

But, here it comes Monday to a bookstore (or tabloid newsstand) near you.

In it, A-Rod is cast as the epitome of evil.

Hey, I don’t like the guy, either. He just has that look of someone you’d just love to punch in the face, but wouldn’t because you know he’d beat the pinstripes out of you.

He’s smarmy. He’s a sham. He’s a snitch. And he’s almost as well liked at George W. Bush, Osama bin Laden and the Octomom.

But author Selena Roberts goes out of her way to point out every misdeed by A-Rod.

Some of the more shocking revelations in the book -- or so I hear -- a day before its release:

-- A-Rod is the cause of the Swine Flu.

-- A-Rod is the creator of the Conficker worm.

-- A-Rod wrote “Macarena.”

-- A-Rod fogged up the glass on your mirror.

-- A-Rod is the reason why “Chuck” may be cancelled.

-- A-Rod ruined your fantasy baseball team.

That last one may actually be true.