In this day and age, sports fans and athletes need all the help they can get.

Luckily, I have pulled some intriguing questions out of my inbox and answered them in this handy column:

• Dear Mike, I have a dilemma. He Who Shall Not Be Named — old No. 4 is like Lord Voldemort around here — is coming back to the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field this weekend, and I don't know whether I should clap politely for him or boo the snot out of him? Help! — Perplexed in Packerland.

Perplexed in Packerland, boo away. Boo him in pregame. Boo him on his first snap. Boo him all you want. It is your right as a fan.I booed Thurman Thomas when he played for the Miami Dolphins. I booed Bruce Smith when he played for the Redskins. Heck, I even booed Doug Flutie when he made a drop kick for New England.If you can't boo Lord Voldemort, who can you boo?• Dear Mike, was it wrong of me to Twitter-slam my coach? I mean, he does stink

, you know. — Crossed in Kansas City.

Dear Crossed in Kansas City, who uses Twitter, anyway? You'll be fine. No one reads that stuff.• Dear Mike, Coach Tomlin has given us the week off! Par-tay! What should I do with my spare time? — Bored Big Ben in the 'Burgh.

Dear Bored Big Ben, you could do another professional wrestling gig or appear on Jay Leno or help Troy Polamalu's hair.Just don't go to Lake Tahoe.• Dear Mike, I am a fan of a horrible football team that my son happens to coach. They can't do diddly poo. Playoffs? Playoffs? You want to talk about playoffs? Are you kidding me? Playoffs? Help! — Jim Sr.

Dear Jim Sr., take solace in the fact that there are a lot of really bad teams in the NFL this season, more than in any campaign I can remember.The last-place teams in each division are a combined 7-46.St. Louis has lost 17 straight. Tampa Bay has dropped 11 in a row. Detroit has won one of its last 23 games and Kansas City has tasted victory just three times in the same span.Washington and Oakland, in what can only be declared as a miracle by the Vatican, have managed to win TWO games this year despite more dysfunction than the Gosselins.At least your son's team isn't THAT bad.• Dear Mike, the mustard on my hotdog is frozen. It's a weinercicle. Baseball in late October stinks. What can the MLB do to avoid colder than cold baseball playoff games? — Frozen in Philly.

Dear Frozen in Philly, since Major League Baseball insists on dragging out its postseason and making sure games aren't over before David Letterman's monologue or apologies, there are only two solutions I can see: Play the World Series in a warm-weather, neutral site or make sure only warm-weather teams make the World Series.With the current state of umpiring in the postseason, that shouldn't be a problem. A blown call here and there and bam! — it's L.A. vs. L.A. next season.Mike Kilroy is a staff writer for the Butler Eagle.