Seneca Valley senior donates to agency that helped him as a youth
MARSHALL TWP, Allegheny County — The group gathering room was exactly how Clark Schaney had remembered it, the three core value statements of Highmark Caring Place still etched on the back wall: “I am here for you,” “You are here for me” and “We are here for each other.”
Clark, a senior at Seneca Valley High School, used to attend group sessions at the Caring Place every week starting when he was around 11 years old — his age when his dad, Jared Schaney, died from colon cancer. Although he had not been there in a few years, Clark set raising money for the Caring Place as the mission of his senior project this year.
Just as the Caring Place was there for Clark when he needed it, he came back to be there for the organization.
“It helped me a lot with grieving about what happened to my dad,” Clark said. “I thought this was a wonderful idea, so I could give back to an organization that helped me.”
Clark raised $1,000 through selling chocolate-covered pretzels at Seneca Valley school functions, which he donated to the Caring Place in early April. Highmark, which funds the Caring Place, matched Clark’s donation, bringing the amount given to the organization to $2,000.
The Caring Place provides support for grieving children and their families, and the money Clark donated will help fund programs it provides, according to Krista Ball, director of Highmark Caring Place program and community relations in Warrendale.
“It will go directly to our programming. Our programming is provided at no cost to all families,” Ball said. “A family never pays to come to the Caring Place. We don’t go through insurance.”
The Caring Place began in Pittsburgh in 1996, and now has facilities located in Erie, Harrisburg and Warrendale. The Highmark Caring Foundation serves a 49-county area in western and central Pennsylvania. The Highmark Caring Place is a safe place where grieving children and families can come together and be with others who understand what they’re going through, according to the organization’s website.
Ball said groups typically meet once a week, and each session involves activities for different age ranges of children, as well as their parents, who are encouraged to all attend each time to get the benefits of group support.
Each session typically begins in the group meeting room, where the core value statements are on the wall, before age groups break off into different rooms for their own activities and talks. Ball said the activities planned for each age group are meant to help people of different demographics process their emotions in age-appropriate ways.
“We know that kids grieve differently based on their developmental age,” Ball said. “Clark would have been with the same group of kids the entire time.”
Clark attended Caring Place sessions with his mom and his brother, who is about three years younger than him. Clark said the sessions helped him talk through his grief about losing his dad, through activities that he took part in alongside children of the same age who were processing similar emotions.
“It just gives you more of a platform, because you see other people at your age range who have gone through something like that and you see that you’re not alone with it,” Clark said. “I remember doing arts and crafts and things to portray your emotions, especially as a little kid not being able to voice them.”
Peer support is the mission of the Caring Place, Ball said, because it is particularly helpful to children who process emotions differently than adults. She said there are usually 15 to 20 families at each session.
“I think the beauty of peer support is you get support for yourself but you also give it,” Ball said. “I think that give and take is what I like about peer support.”
On Tuesday, April 15, Clark walked the halls of the Caring Place alongside Ball, who showed some of the rooms where peer support meetings and children’s activities take place in the evenings. Ball said in addition to activities and support, the Caring Place also provides dinner to the families there, to help relieve another potential burden from their plates while going through grief.
Quilts made up of squares made by children to memorialize lost loved ones adorned the hallway walls of the Caring Place. Crafts are a consistent part of Caring Place programming, according to Ball, because they not only help children express themselves, they offer a way for people to honor their loved one.
Ball brought out the quilt Clark and his brother contributed a square to for their father, and Clark commented that it was one of the activities he enjoyed. Although it took some time, he eventually came to look forward to going to sessions at the Caring Place.
“At first, it was kind of my mom just trying to help me because I was in a bad place, but I found enjoyment coming here,” Clark said. “Once I became familiar with the group and everything, I definitely enjoyed my time here a lot more.”
Ball also said it may take time for children — and even their parents — to get comfortable going to meetings, because they are typically going through a difficult time.
“Nobody wants to have to come to a grief center, we wouldn’t want for any family to have to come here,” Ball said. “And yet we are glad they come to us in their time of need. We never want for families to have to do it alone.”
Aside from receiving a matched $1,000 from Clark, Ball said the beauty of his drive to give back to the Caring Place reassured her and other administrators of the organization that the peer support is helpful to the children going through it. Although no one wants to be in a situation where they are grieving, Ball said Clark made the most of his time at the place.
“There’s nothing that makes us happier than to hear that,” Ball said of Clark wanting to donate to the Caring Place.
